小学生英语搞笑短剧剧本《西游记》台词完整版
小学生英语搞笑短剧剧本《西游记》台词完整版
英语搞笑短剧剧本《西游记》
人物：T:唐僧 陈鹏 M:孙悟空 陈中良 P:猪八戒 李涛 S:沙僧 魏涛
X:白骨精原型 李鹏程 X1:白骨精变成的男人
X2:白骨精变成的女人 刘佳佳 Q:女儿国王后 徐静静
T: Wow…,boys,this place looks beautiful. where we are now?Does any one of you young men know what this place is?
众徒弟们摇头，除了八戒在看书。
T: bajie, give me the map(不回头，懒洋洋的问)
T:bajie? Give the map to me!（严肃的问）
T：bajie! Give the fucking……..(转过身看到八戒在看书)
T:(很吃惊) hey！bajie，you are making youself a new man.what kind of book are you reading? Is it 《jingangjing》 or 《dabeizhou》?
八戒依旧看书，不理睬。
T:(凑过去)let me have a look at it!
八戒才注意，赶忙藏书。但为时已晚，T一把抢过。发现是封面女郎很惹火，眼神立刻变得温柔，接过书开始看
T：yao….xi…..(流口水，八戒看到，拿出卫生纸给唐僧擦，唐僧回过神来)
T:（转身训斥八戒）how many times I have told you! You are not supposed to read this kind of book! I will keep it for you until the trip is end…..(唐僧将画册掖到衣服里)
P:But..um,why boss,why you always said we can never touch girls?I just do not understand…
T:（sigh），how many times I have to tell you ,That is because…
(唐僧摆出一个酷酷的动作，一边跳舞，一边开始唱歌，Jackson的dangeous)
………
P:I know
T:Monkey,I am hungry.Go and get me some food….Shaseng,you go feed the horse. (声音放低)and I think it is the time for me to call my little honey pony(甜蜜的，一边掏出手机，回头看到八戒在身边) hey！pig, get out of here !give me some private space!
唐僧开始给Q打电话
T:hi..how you’re doing(不解释….)
Q:I am fine,but I miss you.Since you left,I can not stoping recalling the days we are together..but you do not even give me a call
T:oh darling….i am sorry.these boys are so gaush,it is not convenient to phone you.But you know I love you…oh…they are back! Fuck u boys,can you give me a moment of peace…
M:who you are phoning,boss?
T:er (支支吾吾的)I was just having a chat with Budda. where is my food?
M:here! I found some delicious bananas!
T:bananas again?! How many times I have told you!i am a monk, not a monkey! I want meat, meat(加重语气)！don’t you understand? The next time,you still brings me nothing but bananas, I think we can do nothing but eat your buddy pig(眼睛瞄向八戒，流口水)
（T拿起手机）
T:I will call you later，honey，I miss you
Q:me too,I will be on the phone,bye…
唐僧拿着香蕉，从衣服里掏出画册，做到一边边吃边看，边擦嘴…..
白骨精上场
X;Hahahaaa…I heard that any monster eating master tang will get a infinite life.how lucky am I,they are in my area.Wow,I get to come up with a plan. Ehn…..get it! i can pretend to be a poor man,so they will trust me.haha……change change……
转了几圈，变成了一个男人。
X1:I look great!
蹒跚的走过去
X1:hello,master..i have not have food for days….can you give me some?
T(瞄一眼，继续吃、看)what? i myself is starving now.out of here, you bastard! Pig,beat him,get him out of here.
M正好回来 将它打死.
T：er…..悟空，I told you to get him out of here,not beat him to death…..
Next time don’t do this kind of thing(摇头但继续吃，看书)
M: whatever, all right(懒得解释)
（悟空看到美女画册，急忙凑上去看，师傅把画册上下左右移动，悟空随之移动，师傅发现了，开始说：）
Ah, wukong ,you want to have a look at it,aren’t you ,If you want to just tell me, I will give it to you, if you don’t tell me how can I know that you want to have a look at it, even if you think in your heart that you want to have a look at it, if you don’t tell me, I still do not know that you want to have a look at it…….(悟空早已痛苦不堪，逃离此地)
T：wukong！come back！（唐僧摇摇头,继续看书)
X:（看到画册）ah…..I got a idea!
变成了一个女的
说话一定要嗲
X2:（曼妙的走过来，碰一下唐僧，唐僧不转头：leave me alone.x2有碰一下，来自99剧本网。唐僧依然不转头：I said leave me alone.这时，x2开口说话）
X2:hi….Mr handsome!
T:（转头）wow…hi beauty!（扔掉画册，背景音乐响起，only you，神情对视，过会儿）come here,do you want some food？take some bananes。 i am tang seng,you can call me Tanny
X:hi Tanny…you look great,maybe we can have some time together alone
T:yeah,you are right, what are we waiting for?! Let us go!
(半路碰到悟空，悟空火眼金睛看出是妖怪)
M:Monster!!look at how I beat you….
（唐僧赶忙拦住）
T:what you are doing,you bastard monkey!this beautiful lady is my guest,
M:boss,it is a monster,he change himself into a charming girl so as to attact you.he will eat you
T:bullshit!you must be fed up with this trip to west…..
（悟空执意要打，唐僧苦劝不听）
T：I think you little monkey need some punishment(摆姿势，要念咒语)
M：（赶忙说）oh,no, master,not that spell.
Q:(sigh)it is so late!(念咒，喜洋洋美羊羊灰太狼红太郎，别看我只是一只羊……悟空落荒而走)
T安慰x2之后，继续走，一段路之后：
X2:hahaha…..look at who I am （变回原样，唐僧大喊救命）
.X2：i will eat you….
Q及时赶来，从悟空那里得知了情况
Q:monster!...stop！he is my man....
（转向T）you get attracted by this ugly monster,are you gay?（不可思议的）
T：no, I am not！(有口莫辩)
Q（面向x）：who are you?
X:I am baigujing….and you？
Q:doesn’t matter.i will finish you（举起魔杖，要说阿瓦达索命，突然停住）Oh…but you look familiar….you are xiaobai?
X:you are小小？ it must been hundreds of years since the last time I met you,where have you been these years.
Q:why do not contact me?
X:I do not know your number…..
this is your man?!
Q:how could it be possible(走过来，把唐僧拨拉到一旁)..i miss you，小白
X：I miss you too……（背景音乐响起，《红豆》）
X：how about a cup of tea in my house?
Q: that would be perfect, let us go….
音乐停，场上只有唐僧，犹豫的望着天空，音乐换成《可惜不是你》
一会儿，悟空和八戒上场，安慰唐僧，重新上路《敢问路在何方》…..
全剧终
